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mit smells like poop.
Bert: That's because you and your mother are lazy slobs! Go find something to do!
Bert's Parents: I'm not a slob!
Bert: Yeah, right.
Bert: So, I guess we're a bunch of lazy slobs, huh? We're a bunch of lousy, disgusting, stinking, and stinky slobs!
Doris: Oh, you big, fat, stupid fool! No one will want you when I'm finished with you. I don't care if you are a friend of the family! You're just a walking piece of excrement! You're a walking piece of shit!
Bert: Mom, this isn't like you. You're usually very polite to me.
Bert: No, it's me you should blame, not him! I am going to get even with you! I'm going to get you, and I'm going to get even! And I'm going to get even in style! Just you wt!
Doris: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
Bert: Mom, I wish you'd quit it!
Bert: When you sd you weren't angry, you really were. You've been angry a long time.
(As Bert explns that it is a coincidence that he ran into the bear, Mrs. Kettlewell comes along and interrupts.)
Kettlewell: Hello, Mr. Kettlewell! (He turns to Mrs. Kettlewell) Isn't it wonderful, dear?
Kettlewell: It's a bear, Mrs. Kettlewell! A bear!
Mrs. Kettlewell: Yes, I know. I saw it a few days ago. I was trying to get that bear cub out of the back yard, but Bert wouldn't let me.
Bert: (To Mrs. Kettlewell) But Mom...
Bert: Look! There's a... (Points) a bear out in the road.
Kettlewell: A bear! Whoa!
Bert: A bear, Dad.
Kettlewell: A bear!
Doris: (To Mr. Kettlewell) You promised me you'd take me to see this bear.
Bert: No, Dad! There's a bear out in the road.
Doris: It's a bear. A bear!
Kettlewell: Oh, dear! I'll have to go out and try to get it.
(Mr. Kettlewell starts out the door, then turns to the Kettletons. He points at the bear, and his voice is very serious and dramatic) You see, it's going to be taken care of.
Bert: What do you mean, "taken care of"?
Doris: I think you should go, Mr. Kettlewell.
Kettlewell: But, I...
Bert: Mom, I'm going out there. I'm not going to let Dad go out there alone, you know. I'm going out there with him.
Doris: (To Mr. Kettlewell) I don't think that's a good idea.
Kettlewell: I'm afrd I have to. Now look here, Bert... (Pointing at the bear) Now look here! You get the gun, and I'll get the gun. We'll work this out, but you have to help me. You have to come out there with me.
Doris: (Whispering) You are putting me in a terrible spot!
Bert: Mom, I'm going out there.
Kettlewell: You're going out there?
Bert: I'm going out there, and so is Dad.
Kettlewell: (Angry) I don't think you should do that. I just don't think you should do it. I don't think we can fix this.
Doris: (Frowning) Oh, don't tell me you're just going to sit down and do nothing?
Kettlewell: No, I am not going to sit down and do nothing. I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to try to get that bear off this property.
Doris: You know what I think? You know what I think? I think that Dad may be right after all. I think maybe that bear has something to do with all these disappearances around here, and I think you might be wrong. I think maybe the bear is a good thing. And I think if you don't go and get rid of it, you'll be condemning somebody to death.
Doris: I mean, is this just some little joke you've played on me? Is this some kind of joke you're trying to play? I mean, this is terrible! It's terrible! I mean, this is not funny. I don't know how to get this bear away from here. And I think you're really just kind of enjoying yourself here.
Kettlewell: I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.
Doris: Well, you're going to have to work on that!
Kettlewell: You'll forgive me if I didn't say this in the beginning, but that's the biggest bear I've ever seen.
Doris: Well, it's not getting bigger! You're making it bigger! (Gets a hammer) I'm going to put a stop to this. I'm going to put a stop to this right now.
Kettlewell: (Starts laughing) Oh, you'll never put a stop to it. I've been studying bears.
Doris: (Laughing) Okay. I'm a little hurt right now.
Kettlewell: Come on, come on. (Laughing)
Doris: Okay, (puts down hammer) come on, come on. Just come on.
Kettlewell: Please don't hit me agn.
Doris: Please don't hit me agn.
Kettlewell: I promise, I promise, I promise, I promise!
Doris: Yeah, right. (Hammer hits Kettlewell in the stomach) Oh, you've got a hard head, too. You got some fight in you.
Kettlewell: (Struggles to sit up) You're really going to have to get me out of